Title: Fight Like a Girl
Author: Sheena Kamal
Publisher: Penguin Teen
Genres: Young adult
Format: Paperback
Expected Publication Date: March 10th 2020
Pages: 272

Synopsis (Goodreads): Love and violence. In some families they're bound up together, dysfunctional and poisonous, passed from generation to generation like eye color or a quirk of smile. Trisha's trying to break the chain, channeling her violent impulses into Muay Thai kickboxing, an unlikely sport for a slightly built girl of Trinidadian descent. Her father comes and goes as he pleases, his presence adding a layer of tension to Toronto's east-end townhouse Trisha and her mom call home, every punch he lands on her mother carving itself indelibly into Trisha's mind.

Until the night he wanders out drunk in front of the car Trisha is driving, practicing on her learner's permit, her mother in the passenger seat. Her father is killed, and her mother seems strangely at peace. Lighter, somehow. Trisha doesn't know exactly what happened that night, but she's afraid it's going to happen again. Her mom has a new man in her life and the patterns, they are repeating.


My rating: 3.5 / 5 ★

I had thought that I have no expectations on this book when I started it–not because I think it would be bad, I just had no idea what to expect from it. But after finishing Fight Like a Girl, I guess I probably expected something out of it, because way after the end, somehow I felt that it was not quite... what I should be expecting?

Confusing, huh? That's probably the best explanation for my feelings that I can muster after reading Fight Like a Girl.

Plot-wise, I considered it like a slice-of-life genre, just a portion of Trisha's life being written down. Apart from the mystery behind her irresponsible father's death and the patterns repeating when her mother finds a new man, everything else seems to not leave me with any impression. The ending just left me with a "Is that it? That's all?".

But I do appreciate that the author did not focus too much on the romance between Trisha and the boy from the gym, but focuses more on her relationship with her mother. The words "But what she's saying, what he was, is that you're mine" refer to Trisha's thoughts on her mother, and it may sound nice without the right context, but I assure that in the book itself, it definitely did not portray something good. Her mother seems to be the type that is very loving, but disguised inside the love is a threatening possessiveness. When things don't go her way, all hell will break loose, never mind that her loved one is getting hurt through it. Which is terrifying, because this kind of person do exist in real world.

I have not much thoughts on the rest, it's a relatively good read, but sadly it didn't leave any lasting impression to me. I was probably expecting a much fiercer story.

Many thanks to Pansing for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Fight Like a Girl will be released on the 10th of March 2020.

Till next time ♡ Love, Aishah Humaira'


PSD Colouring (base) - PSD 18 by Moon2k2

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Title: I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki (Indonesian Version)
Author: Baek Se-hee
Translator: Hyacinta Louisa
Publisher: Penerbit Haru
Genres: Non-fiction, Self help, Psychology
Format: Paperback
Publication Date: August 2019
Pages: 240

Synopsis (Goodreads): 
Aku: Bagaimana caranya agar bisa mengubah pikiran bahwa saya ini standart dan biasa saja? 

Psikiater: Memangnya hal itu merupakan masalah yang harus diperbaiki? 

Aku: Iya, karena saya ingin mencintai diri saya sendiri. 

I Want To Die But I Want To Eat Tteokpokki adalah esai yang berisi tentang pertanyaan, penilaian, saran, nasihat, dan evaluasi diri yang bertujuan agar pembaca bias menerima dan mencintai dirinya. 

Buku self improvement ini mendapatkan sambutan baik karena pembaca meraskan hal yang sama dengan kisah Baek Se Hee sehingga buku ini mendapatkan predikat bestseller di Korea Selatan.

My rating: 5 / 5 ★

I think one of the most important lessons that I learned from this book is that there is only one "you" in this world, and you are special in your own way, regardless of what happens. I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokpokki is a book originally written in Korean, about a woman diagnosed with dysthymia. Baek Se-hee wrote the dialogues during her sessions with a psychiatrist, and included her inner thoughts on how she wants to love herself better.

Although it's already a best-selling book in South Korea, I was only made known of the existence of this book thanks to ARMYs (fans of BTS) in their Sherlock-mode again by noticing Namjoon (RM of BTS) placing this book on his bed (or bedside?) from a video clip of BTS. I am constantly amazed by Namjoon's philosophy and characteristics, so I always look forward to know the kind of books that he reads. It was a real shame I gave up on learning Korean properly–I really should get back to my lessons again someday–, so I could not read it myself.

But late last year, a good friend of mine from Indonesia notified me that their local publisher, Penerbit Haru, was working on an Indonesian translation of I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokpokki. And thanks to the same friend, I was finally able to own a copy of the book! This marks my first time reading a book in another language other than my mother tongue language, Bahasa Melayu, and English; but then again, Bahasa Indonesia is relatively similar to Bahasa Malaysia and thanks to watching a number of Indonesian dramas when I was young, I didn't have a hard time grasping the content of this book.

I don't read a lot of self-help books–I can't remember any apart from Loveability by Robert Holden, but I didn't even finish reading the book completely–so I was quite unsure what to expect from reading this. I had wanted to love this book, and that is exactly how it ended to be—and perhaps I love it more than I had hoped.

Although I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokpokki is actually a compilation of written dialogues between the author and her psychiatrist, I was able to immerse myself into the conversation, to the point that it felt very intimate, as if I was in her situation all along. I was never clinically diagnosed with depression or any other mental illness, but I went through my own dark moments and I could relate to most of the things that Baek Se-hee went through. The confusion in Baek Se-hee's dialogues mirror my own, and the psychiatrist's words sent me a blanket of comfort that I absolutely needed.

I had prayed for 2020 to start of well for me, but alas, January did not end as the best time for me. However, the presence of this book, the words and dialogues written by Baek Se-hee were able to help me cope with my own dark overwhelming thoughts. I didn't finish the book in one seating, it took a whole deal lot of times, but I am utterly grateful for it. I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokpokki is the kind of book that I will keep very close to me, and will reach out to it again whenever I'm at my lowest.

I definitely recommend everyone to read this book. I was able to relate to a lot of it, and I hope others will find comfort from it as well. I hope that even when you feel like dying, there is something that you still want to do to stay alive, no matter how small the matter is, even if it's only craving for some spicy rice cakes.


Rasa percaya bahwa meskipun bukanlah hari yang sempurna, hari ini bisa menjadi hari yang cukup dan baik-baik saja. Rasa percaya bahwa hidup adalah ketika meskipun aku merasa depresi seharian penuh, aku masih bisa tersenyum hanya gara-gara sebuah hal kecil sekali pun.

(Believing that even though it is not a perfect day, today can still be a good day. Believing that even when I feel depressed for the whole day, I can still smile because of the littlest of things.)

Till next time ♡ Love, Aishah Humaira'


PSD Colouring (base) - PSD 18 by Moon2k2

Fonts -

It's already the start of February; I hope it's not too late to wish everyone a Happy New Year! It somehow amuses me that we're actually already in 2020—when I was still a child, the year "2020" honestly felt very far and almost unreachable. The child me expected 2020 to be very futuristic, with flying cars or talking robot cats like in Doraemon, but here we are, in the year 2020 and still none of those ideas made sense yet. 

Now that I'm older and (perhaps) a lot more mature, I know that 2020 is just another year, and getting flying cars or robot cats sound more terrifying rather than mind blowing. Imagine all the collisions that could happen in the air, and world domination by cats made out of metal. Hah, no thanks.

Anyway, the last time I updated this blog was in November last year, and apart from being busy with life, I actually do have other reasons for now updating since then. Initially, I had planned to start over with my social media accounts with a new username, because for some reasons, it felt like "Mermaird" is no longer presenting me as a person. I am still very much in love with the mythical creature of course, but I wanted a name that represents myself more. 

I have planned to re-brand my blog when we reach 2020 as well since that month, but sadly, when the time came, the name that I wanted to use for my social medias were already taken. I guess I'm not that creative as I thought, seeing how quick the name was taken away from me. It took me some time to no longer feel upset about it, and in the end, I decided to just continue on with "Mermaird" for now. After all, the name is meaningful for me, and a number of people also started knowing me through it. 

I have nothing else to add—no, we are not going to talk about any new year's resolutions—so I've decided to combine this post with the unboxing of my BTS Season's Greetings 2020. I received mine  earlier this month, and they are an absolute beauty! In case you're wondering, I purchased them through a seller on Carousell, and the whole set is complete except for the random photo lenticular.

πŸ’œ Out Sleeve Case

Details: 195 x 255 x 65.5 mm

The out sleeve case consists of a plastic sleeve and a box with a picture of them on it. I love the way they styled to "2020" on the plastic sleeve and the holographic effect on their picture. It's not very visible in a picture, but the original picture is just a black and white image and the rainbow is the holographic effect. I'm a sucker for anything holo, so this is like the best thing for me.

πŸ’œ Mouse Pad (Pre-order Gift)

The mouse pad is a pre-order gift, only available if the Season's Greetings was pre-ordered. I believe there are two versions of it, and I got the black and white version. I have no idea if I will even be using it though; the thought of running my mouse on their beautiful faces... oh no.

πŸ’œ Desk Calendar

Details: 240 x 164 mm / 13 months

I usually only purchase the desk calendar from their Season's Greetings every year, but I really loved the concept of this year's, so I had to get them all. The best thing about their desk calendars is that the pictures are huge and beautiful and honestly, they're more important than the actual dates on the calendar γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹

πŸ’œ 6 Ring Diary

Details: 134 x 168 mm / 124 p

And this is it! The actual reason I had no choice but to get the full set of the Season's Greetings instead of just the desk calendar as the previous years—the glory of this 6 ring diary πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’– Huge kudos to the design team for being up-to-date with the latest journal trends. Transparent jelly ring journals/diaries are one of the current in-thing, especially if you're aware of the journalling community on platforms like Instagram, a lot of them are using this kind of journal. I do have one holographic ring diary as well that I use for my internship notes!

Although the jelly cover itself is not holographic, they provided a holographic page that you can substitute for the first page, instead of the page with the group photo! The thing that I love the most about ring diaries is that you can change the pages however you want them to be, and you can even add new pages to it.

Here's a flip-through of the diary:

I got myself too invested with their pictures that I forgot to take pictures of the actual pages of the diary γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹ Unlike the last time I purchased the diary from their 2018 Season's Greetings, this year's will be filled with more personal things because I have a separate one for my journal purposes that I make public, so they probably won't pop up much on my Instagram, if none at all.

The photo concept is absolutely stunning, especially the coloured version ones. They're almost ethereal looking and the pastel colours and vibes made this one of my favourite photoshoots of all time! I think my favourite would be Hoseok's, there's a merman vibe over there πŸ‘€❤️

πŸ’œ Making DVD

Details: About 55 mins / 1 DISC / Region Code 1, 3 / Audio: Korean / Subtitles (Korean, English, Chinese)

I haven't managed to have time to watch the DVD yet, but I've seen plenty of cuts spread around Twitter as of now. Will try making time to properly watch it during some weekend!

πŸ’œ Greeting Message Card Set

Details: Size. 150 x 100 mm / MESSAGE FILM 7EA + PHOTO CARD 7EA

I love the fact that their greeting messages were printed on a different film than the actual photo cards; a huge plus since they're holographic as well! I believe that the prettiest greeting message is Jimin's, followed by Jungkook's.

And after the release of Black Swan, we all finally know how sneaky Namjoon is, with the swans in his '2020'.

πŸ’œ Selfie Sticker Set

Details: Size. 164*240mm / 2EA 1SET

The prettiest stickers for the prettiest boys. I'm so happy with how adorable and playful this photoshoot turned out to be! Catch me swooning over them all over again as I use these for my journals.

πŸ’œ ID Photo Set

Details: Size. 30*40mm / 7EA 1SET

I've never seen any point with ID photo sets—but it's ridiculous how good looking they look for their "ID" photos. I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to it.

πŸ’œ Mini Poster Set

Details: Size. 230*150mm / 10EA 1SET

The whole set is an absolute masterpiece; I don't think I can say anything anymore °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Goodness, writing down this post took me weeks despite only having several sentences. I'm just overwhelmed with how much I'm loving the whole Season's Greetings and I'm trying not to gush too much about it, and also there's the fact that I haven't written anything in ages so I felt a little bit awkward.

I shall just point out that they gave me much needed satisfaction, including the amount of NamJin interactions, the soft pastel colours, holo things, Jungkook's beautiful long-ish hair, and them just being beautiful as always (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*

I have no idea if I will have any readers at all, but I've long decided that I write only for my own sake so I look forward to writing the next posts! Hopefully I'll be able to write more this year compared to last year.

Till next time ♡ Love, Aishah Humaira'


PSD Colouring (base) - PSD 18 by Moon2k2

Washi tape PNG - Kinderbyuno

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