Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Book Review: Loveability by Robert Holden

Title: Loveability
Author: Robert Holden
Publisher: Hay House
Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Love, Spirituality
Format: Hardcover
Publication Date: March 1st, 2013
Pages: 219

Synopsis (Goodreads): “Love is your destiny. It is the purpose of your life. It is the key to your happiness and to the evolution of the world.”

Loveability is a meditation on love. It addresses the most important thing you will ever learn. All the happiness, health, and abundance you experience in life comes from your ability to love and be loved. This ability is innate, not acquired.

Robert Holden is the creator of a unique program on love called Loveability, which he teaches worldwide. He has helped thousands of people to transform their experience of love. “Love is the real work of your life,” says Robert. “As you release the blocks to love you flourish even more in your relationships, work, and life.”

In Loveability, Robert weaves a beautiful mix of timeless principles and helpful practices about the nature of true love. With great intimacy and warmth, he shares stories, conversations, meditations, and poetry that have inspired him in his personal inquiry on love. Key themes include: Your destiny is not just to find love; it is to be the most loving person you can be.


My rating: 4.5 / 5 ★

I rarely ever read non-fiction books. In fact, I can barely even recall any specific non-fiction books that I enjoyed reading. There are cases where I love to open recipe books or my mother's book on cat biographies, but mostly I found joy in the pictures rather than the actual words written in it. So, let's start on how I actually picked up Loveability.

I am currently doing a research on dark love in Lang Leav's poetry for my thesis, and I am in need of books related to anything about love. While I was browsing through books in the public library this particular one day, my fingers grazed upon the spine of this book and I pulled it out. My first thought was "oh, what a colourful title, that's interesting". But it was the "Knowing how to love and be loved" that intrigued me the most, so I decided to check the book out and borrow it to be read.

Honestly, even from the first chapter, I found the book to be very wonderfully written. Robert Holden has conducted a class/sessions called "Loveability" to discover how people see about love. He relates the things that he studied with true stories that he faced with his students, clients, friends and family. I think that is the part where it makes what he wants to present to be very genuine.

Robert Holden introduces about "unconditioned self", where humans have eternal loveliness and they love themselves without judging their own selves. For a person who finds it difficult to properly love herself at all times, I find his words to be very comforting. It feels like he talks to the readers to "let go of your insecurities and embrace yourself wholly because you are lovely enough as you are". There is no point in creating another version of yourself for the sake of appearing "good" to others, if you will not be able to love and embrace that version of you. Because it's not the real you.

Talking about loving yourself is definitely harder than actually doing it, and I have immense respect towards Robert Holden because he is able to bring himself to love himself wholly, and also helps others to do the same. I can remember one of the activities he mentions that he did in "Loveability", it is called Mirror Exercise. You sit facing another person, and the person holds out a mirror in front of you. Tell yourself that you love yourself and talk about the good things about you while looking into the mirror for around fifteen minutes (this is what I understand from the exercise, pardon me if I misunderstood). Once you are done, hold out a mirror for your partner for his/her turn.

Feeling curious, I actually tried doing it in the mirror in my room. The words "I love myself" rolled off my tongue easily, and I find it to be quite interesting. I didn't try practicing it for fifteen minute nor did I do it in front of another person, so I'm unsure of how I would react like if I did the actual activity. Despite only looking into the mirror and seeing only yourself, you are aware that you are still exposed to the world, so the result will differ from what you might expect.

Loveability also talks about us being made out of love. Love is inside us, and not something that we should seek outside from another person. Yet, at the same time, we should also be open to love everyone. I find this a very heartwarming idea; you embrace yourself and loves everyone around you. Robert Holden started his book with questions such as how would the world be if it revolves around love—now imagine. How will the world become if everyone can love themselves and love those around them? How will the world be if we can just love?

I didn't manage to finish reading the book because I got caught up with university's assignments, but even so, I learned a lot through the chapters I've read. Whenever I am consumed in anger, I often channeled hate towards myself. I want to learn to stop doing so and simply love myself and those around me more from now onward. 


Loving everyone is true love. It's also the key to being able to love someone.

Till next time ♡ Love, Aishah Humaira'


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