Monday, April 11, 2016

Misunderstandings In A Friendship

This is why I love sleeping late. My midnight musings are the best okay probably not but I am more easily inspired during the darkest hours like this. I guess I finally have to accept that this is why my dark circles are really prominent...

Okay, now we are going to the actual topic: How To Handle Misunderstandings In A Friendship. I recently got into an argument with one of my closest friend- well, we did not really argued. It was more of a misunderstanding, yes. It started with a mistake of my own, but because of ego, I was reluctant to give in. So a misunderstanding happened, and we did not talk to each other for quite some time.

But the good news is, we are okay now. Here's a few tips that I would like to share with whoever out there that feels down because of a slight mishap in your relationship.

1. Take a timeout

It is better for you to stay away from others for a while when you got into an argument or misunderstanding. Stay away and spend a time alone to think about what you have done. Sometimes ego and anger can cloud your mind. It could have started from you without your realisation. Give yourself some time to calm down, to think rationally.

2. Seek for advice

Seeking for advice does not only mean from a professional. You can always find a person, or a family member for comfort. Sometimes they can help you. Do not seek for them so you could bad mouth about the friend that you are arguing with, this is the reason why it is important to take a timeout first before doing anything else.

3. Lower your ego

Ego is something you cannot help but have. Everyone has their own ego, and for some people, their ego can effect their thinking. Don't let your ego take over your sense of judgement, you are better than that. It doesn't kill you to lower your ego and face your mistake. It would definitely help in your friendship if your ego is not the main issue. Give and take, both sides are important.

4. Find a way to apologise

If the mistake is from your side, find a way to apologise. Do something to prove how guilty and sorry you feel. Prove to your friend that you know you are wrong. I know that asking for an apology is one of the hardest thing to do, so this is why you have to lower your ego first. If it is your fault, you should apologise. 

Tips: If you're too much of a coward to apologise face to face (just like me ;;;), there are more ways to apologise. Even though you can simply apologise by sending personal messages or texts, for some people, those are unacceptable. In my case, I wrote an apology letter. It worked. It can work for you too. Do something physical, something that shows you still want to be friends with that person. Prove to them how much they worth.

5. Forgive and understand

If you are not the one at fault, forgive your friend. Even if they have not yet apologised, forgive them. Forgiving people is one of the greatest thing one could do. It is as hard as asking for an apology, but if you treasure the friendship, just forgive. Try to understand the act of your friend. There may be reasons for the things that had happened.

6. Heart to heart talk

If things go smoothly, sit down together (or text) and talk about your feelings on each other. One side may feel this way, and the other side may feel another thing. Whatever you are feeling and experiencing is okay, that is life. Misunderstanding and arguments in friendship are just a way for you to know whether your friendship is worth it or not. Everything is normal, you are not alone.

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I seriously don't know what I have written. But I really do hope some of you understand what I am trying to convey. Cherish your friendship, be there for your friends. Just like I mentioned before, friendship could be impermanent, but if you give effort, you can be there for each other for as long as can be. Friendship is beautiful, so please, appreciate your friends.

Take this time to tell your friends how much you love them. Tell them how thankful you are to have them. Because everyone deserves to know how much they are loved.

Till next time ♡ Love, Aera

P.S: To Nick, thank you for still accepting me after what I have done. I'm still sorry for what I did, but like I said, I won't leave and I don't want to lose you either. I love you!

P.P.S: To Hyeo, words will never do justice on how thankful I am to have you by my side. Thank you for being with me through the ups and downs, thank you for constantly believing in me. Love you lots!

P.P.P.S: To all my other friends, I love you guys so so much too! I hope all of you are having the greatest time, and I really appreciate all of you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I am always around. You guys are amazing!


  1. Awwww Aera! :-( I know what you feel and I, too, have gotten into arguments with friends. I agree with your tips and I'm glad that you and your friend are okay now. <3

    Miss reading your posts, btw! Take care!

  2. @Lix;

    I never used to argue or have a misunderstanding this big with my friends before, so this affects me a lot. But yes, I'm glad things are better now. Thanks, Lix :)